Seven Random Acts of Confession

I have been tagged by LDP to list 7 random facts about myself.

1. Like LDP I like to play a game where I make other people's words sound dirty. Only, unlike LDP, I am crass enough to say these thoughts out loud.

2. I have a filthy mouth. I was forbidden to say anything that sounded like a curse word while I was growing up. Even "shoot" was off limits. I think this is part of the reason why I have a filthy mouth but I also think I like the shock factor. I look like a very sweet girl who would never utter such filth. So, I feel compelled to push the limits.

3. I love children but don't ever want to have any of my own. I would go so far as to get my tubes tied if my insurance covered it. For some reason lots of people are offended when I say this and I can never for the life of me figure out why.

4. I didn't learn to drive until I was in my 20's. I was deathly afraid to drive and now I cannot remember why.

5. I have a rare personality types (if you believe in such things). I'm an INFJ and I have on occasion had psychic experiences. I swear I don't read palms or tarot cards or have psychic visions all the time but I have had several dreams that came true. The first one I remember was when I was around 5 years old. My mom was contemplating moving to a new town and living with a friend she used to work with who had recently moved and gotten a great new job. After my mom told my sister and I the news, I had a dream that her friend's house burned down. I told my mom the dream and that we couldn't move. A few days later my mom's friend had a huge fire at her house and it burned to the ground.

6. I have a rich fantasy life. I take the train to work and I often imagine different events unfolding. For example; if I'm listening to a really great song on my Ipod, I imagine the song blaring through the train on the loud speaker and everyone dancing in the aisles. Of course, I imagine myself singing the lyrics. Sometimes I have hero fantasies. I imagine someone getting on the train with a gun and I'm standing in the aisle holding on to an overhead bar. I spot the person with the gun and do a pull up on the bars as fast as lightening and then do an amazing kick/thrust move that propels me into the gunman and pins him to the ground. I wrestle the gun away and hit him in the head with it repeatedly. I don't have any aggression issues or anything. I also fantasize about winning the lottery but never ever buy a ticket.

7. I am not very adventurous. I tend to go to the same places and do the same things. I guess I'm a creature of habit but then I worry I'm missing out on something. I suppose my lack of adventure translates in to impulse control issues (see numbers 1 & 2) and to a rich fantasy life as mentioned above in number 6.

Je Dois Me Rappelle/I must remember

Chaque jour
je dois me rappelle
la grace est près de moi

L'hiver était long
J'avais si faim

Mais le ressort est retourné
Mon coeur a fleuri
et l'amour est près

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every day
I must remember
grace is close to me

the winter was long
I was so hungry

But Spring has returned
my heart has flowered
and love is near

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This flowery, frenchy post brought to you by red wine and
NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month). Bernard-Grffiin Cab Merlo blend $9.99. Overly romantic poetry written in another language, priceless......or corny and pretentious......but fun to write either way.

Goals Old & New

I am proud to announce that I am credit card debt free for the first time since my divorce in 2001. P.S. don't ever get divorced from a person who makes twice as much money as you without asking for alimony (because you don't want to be too demanding). Also, don't sign away your rights to your house before you get it appraised and/or sold. And, definitely don't do both of those other two other things and then enroll in school full time. Did I mention that this was the same year that 9/11 happened and the dotcom bubble burst? It turns out these factors are what make up the perfect storm that make it quite difficult for a person to stay out of debt and find a good job. But, if you have made such bad decisions as those mentioned above you can still get out of debt like I did. That's the good news. But it aint easy.

Now I'm working on my next goal which is to pump up my savings. This will take a while but not nearly as long as paying off my credit card debt did. Instead of paying huge sums each month which seemed to barely make a dent in my credit card balance, I'm sending huge sums to savings and earning interest. Ah, what a difference.

On the running front, I had signed up for a marathon in May but that is off. I got a cold and then had to travel and one thing led to another and I got too far behind in my training schedule. Still, I have been running and didn't want the training I've done so far to go to waste. So, I talked a couple friends in to doing the San Francisco marathon which isn't until August. I think it's doable. I ran a half marathon last weekend. It wasn't a very fast time but it was good and I felt good afterward.

Less tangible goal: to be less critical of myself. That is actually too big of a goal but I hope it can be a side affect of something I am trying. When I find myself being too critical, I tell myself to "be gentle". It doesn't sound like much but if nothing else, it interrupts the little asshole in my head.

Memorial

O's memorial service was strange. It was not only held at my old church campus but was in the small chapel where we had school choir practice and Wednesday chapel sessions. O was an individual who spent most of his life rebelling against the strictness of the school and church our parents went to. Yet, his family insisted that his memorial take place at the church. They made the memorial an opportunity to preach to the attendees the message that O had found Jesus again just three weeks before he died and that everyone should pray for such grace. Oh my!

I don't know if O had a change of heart about religion or not. I can't imagine what it would be like to know you are about to die and what fears that may bring or what desires to leave one's family in peace. All I know is that O would not have wanted his memorial to be an evangelism opportunity.

On the bright side, I got to see a few friends I hadn't seen for a long time and it got me interested in having a reunion. I've mentioned a reunion to a few friends and they seem interested as well. Perhaps, we'll get together this summer and drink a toast to O and remember him in the style he lived which was with humor, mischief, and daring.